People pleasing is not a personality flaw!
It is a response to trauma and/or stress that can develop into being one of the primary ways a person deals with challenges. In this way, people-pleasing may look like who you are, but it’s actually something you learned to do. That’s because we are wired to automatically protect ourselves in different ways. Pleasing (or “fawning”) is now recognized as one of four trauma responses (i.e., fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). According to Peter Walker, licensed psychologist and expert in complex trauma, “Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others.”
Since pleasing is initially an automatic response, this protective strategy begins mostly outside of our awareness. Over time, it either becomes one of our go-to strategies for automatically protecting ourselves when we feel unsafe emotionally or relationally. Or we develop some flexibility and ability to choose different responses.
Experiences that can activate the “People-Pleaser” Response.
If you are ready to liberate yourself from this automatic response and have more choices and flexibility in how you respond to difficult situations, then keep reading. Together, we will explore the possible ways the pleasing strategy became activated within you.
- Experiencing violence of a parent, caregiver, or partner
- Having an emotionally unavailable parent
- Being in a relationship with a narcissistic parent or partner
- Growing up in a family that avoided conflict or had a lot of conflicts
- Growing up with a parent or family member who struggled with persistent, physical and/or mental health issues
- Experiencing and/or being a part of a group of people who experiences racism, discrimination, exclusion, or micro-aggressions
Community Resources
National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
Provides advocacy, education, support and public awareness events and activities.
www.nami.org
Eastern Shore Mobile Crisis Response Services
Available 24 hours a day / 7 days a week / 365 days of the year.
(888) 407-8018
Maryland Coalition of Families
Dedicated to connecting, supporting and empowering families who are experiencing behavioral health challenges.
www.mdcoalition.org
Wraparound Maryland
Care coordination services for families with children who have severe emotional or behavioral needs.
www.wraparoundmd.org
Important Dates
JULY 2022
4TH: WOT OFFICE CLOSED
8TH – 9TH: WOT OFFICE CLOSED
AUGUST 2022
1ST: WOT OFFICE CLOSED
5TH – 6TH: Sudlersville Peach Festival – Godfrey’s Farm
6TH – 14TH: WOT OFFICE CLOSED
8TH – 13TH: Queen Anne’s COUNTY FAIR – 4-H Park
29TH: First Day of school for QACPS Students in Grades 1-6 & 9
30TH: First Day of school for QACPS Students in Grades 7, 8, 10 & 12
31ST: First Day of school for QACPS Students in PK & K
SEPTEMBER 2022
2ND: All QACPS Shools Early Dismissal Day
5TH: WOT Office Closed & QACPS Schools closed
OCTOBER 2022
21ST: QACPS Schools Closed
31ST: QACPS Schools Closed
November 2022
1ST, 2ND, 3RD: QACPS School Half Days
8TH: QACPS Schools Closed
23RD – 25TH: QACPS Schools Closed
DECEMBER 2022
2ND – QACPS Schools Half Day + Centreville Christmas Parade
22ND – 30TH: QACPS Schools Closed
24TH – JAN 1ST: WOT Office Closed
